needing help with son who is very smart but inmuture

I had a daughter in the same situation, and know just how torn you feel. She was struggling socially and to stay on task. She had a late in the year birthday and was always one of the youngest ones in the grade. We ended up taking the schools advice and having her repeat first grade and we have never regretted it. She was then amongst the older kids in the grade and gained much needed confidence. She just needed some extra time to mature. She has gone on to do very well in school and graduated with a bachelors degree several years ago.
 
Should you decide to hold him back,  he will make friends in his new grade, and it won't be as big of a transition as you might expect. In the mean time, keep reading with him, and provide enriching activities for your kids this summer. Good luck with your decision.

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I, too, have a son who is very smart, but socially was and is, a bit behind.  He's very shy and doesn't make friends easily, and because he isn't willing to take risks, he doesn't want to engage himself in learning activities where he might be wrong.  

I am a first grade teacher, and every year I see children struggle not because they aren't smart, but because they socially needed a little more time to mature.  I saw the same warning signs in my own son, and so did his kindergarten teacher.  So, we let him have an extra year of growth and had him do kindergarten another year.

He's much more willing to take risks now, is reading independently on his own level, and feels better about his abilities.  I think he is finally ready.  Hooray!

Your child's teacher spends many hours a day with your little one and understands his capabilities and where his weaknesses lie, too.  She also knows the expectations of first grade.  I believe that any teacher who recommends retention is truly thinking about the fragile self-esteem of that particular child.  And if a child can receive the gift of time, then his/her self-esteem has a chance to bloom rather than wilt.

Though it may be difficult at the beginning of the school year for you to see him upset about not going on to the next grade, I PROMISE you will see joy exuding from him as he begins to receive praise for doing the right thing and being a leader in class.  He will feel so good about himself!  And, he will make a huge amount of friends!  

So don't be afraid to give him the GIFT of time.  After all, TIME is something we can NEVER get back or replace.  Good luck!

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